notallwugs:

Two scientists walk into a bar:

"I’ll have an H2O."

"I’ll have an H2O, too."

The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical function of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

(via oldwomanjosie)

beyoncebeytwice:

is everything expensive or am i just poor

(via bbomb)

masoncheryl:

*looks at fictional character* nobody loves u more than me

(via skvwalker)

ocurrence:

i wonder how long it’ll take for you to realize i exist 

(Source: reharmings, via freddyamazin)

"I understand. That’s the trouble. I understand. I’ll understand all the time. All day and all night. Especially all night. I’ll understand. You don’t have to worry about that."

Ernest Hemingway, Winner Take Nothing (via likeafieldmouse)

(Source: larmoyante, via whyallcaps)

malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

(via gordoananke)

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